Time and Tide

This one is a forced literature. Haha. So I'll make it quick *wink*

1 month into Surgery.

I guess the air is stagnant. The waves are static. Any evolving changes? A big NO to that. Still am no fan of it. I once had a heart-to-heart conversation *cough* with a friend..

"Weh, masa hang Surgery hang enjoy dak?"

    "Time aku dulu ada MO garang, tapi la ni dia takdak dah. Awat hang x enjoy ka?"

"Dak.." *poker-faced*

    "Laa..awatnya.."

I am not going to disclose my reply to his last question for some reasons. Haha. I know I am difficult. But I guess some innate temperament are not to be tampered with. So I think I'll continue being difficult for now. I remembered once, during my 4th year study, when we were making group research..going into a kampong, in and out of strangers' houses collecting data. There was one paralyzed lad, in his early 30s, bed-ridden since his teenage years after a horrible MVA. He asked us our names..and attempted at gauging our personality just by that. After giving out mine, he took a good long look at me *sigh* and spurted, "Karniza...ni banyak pikir ni..". That literally took me aback and I managed a half-hearted smile. Dumbfounded I was. Darn it. Why is this stranger know me more than I do myself?!

Maybe it's just his luck at guessing. Maybe.

So anyway..

Mama and her BPPV. Today she seems better. Ayah went to ENT Clinic this morning. Get them to review her previous records and prescribed her the same meds she was dosed before.

Today will take Rhesus out for a spin. A wash, too maybe. 

We'll see.

So I supposed this will be all. Maybe I should stop writing for a while..I think I'm giving myself away too much already *grin*

The Mechanic

Things may have gotten out of their due spots. But it’s okay, now that they are finally coming back together again. Sometimes, we may have spoken harsh words, sometimes I might have hurt you, too. We are flawed but that isn’t a fair excuse, is it?

Maybe this is selfish, thinking I really am worth the long wait. I know things haven’t been working out the way you have drafted before but do have faith. Years passed. Another one or two surely wouldn’t make any difference, right? Unless if you find yourself gravitates elsewhere? *sigh*

To mend the once broken is never an easy task at hand. We may eventually give up halfway through it, we may cease to believe. 

I see you keep your options open.

So I guess I’ll keep mine, too.

Boleh like this?

P/S: Not enjoying surgical. Full-stop. *hmph!*

P/P/S: Jauhara, I am guilty for intruding your tumblr site *wink* Worse still, hijacking your medley of quotes ;) The temptation is too great, overpowering the weakling me! I really do miss our casual talks, I mean, only selectable clan can withstand my profuse inquisitions on almost everything..Huu. There is no second Jauhara so I guess I need to learn to stop asking too much T_T

Muse No More

Slithering around you have been

Pretending to care, well you did

How you disappoint me in so many ways..

=(

Nautical

My 72-hour journey of seeking solace is bound to end soon. All in all..I had only tons of fun! Family trip is always the greatest! And Khalis, congratulations! It still is a little depressing that you got married before I do. Huu. I find myself running away from people every now and then. I just can't stand another 'U punya majlis bila pula?'.

*facepalm*

Khalis + Ili

Pardon the bad quality picture

Anyway, we had a series of shopping sprees there! I supposed I'll just let the pictures do all the talking..;)

And to the Underwater World we went!

Can I not go to work tomorrow?

Generic

3 weeks into Surgery.

Felt like 3 years already *sigh*

I figured something out during my past 3 weeks into this cruel-er environment..

Not into surgical-based anymore. I know that now.

Weird, it is.

Surgery was one of my best-performed postings during my student years.

*shrugs*

Probably because Pikah and Ila aren't here with me anymore, everything (or rather everyone) just seems so..distant. At times I just can't help feeling disconnected. My brain recently has developed the tendency to shut down and shove off everything from its processing storage. I'd go mental-blank for a quick lapse. Eventually I learned to just not care. I do hope for a better change. But unfortunately, I have nothing else to do except to buy more time..at least until Surgical posting ends..

Say in another 3 months or so?

*snort*

Off Beat

"Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love."
William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

Not sure why I posted this *shrugs* I just feel like to.

Anyway..

Been busy counting days..May all ends well ;) There are just so many things that I want to do. Unlucky me, still waiting for time and tide..

My violin is rotting inside the case. Hmph.

The Blind End

I can't help but feeling..out of character. This is not me. I am a rebel, always. A follower to none. I can't live a strict schedule, or I'll break and torn and drained. Like I am, now. I am re-living yesterday today and no doubt, tomorrow is just another today. Everything is just orchaestrated in a dull, boring plots; waking up feeling dread, going to work, work like an ant, go back home, have sips of TV commercials before going to bed, rest the head, waking up dreadful again. Vicious cycle it is, again and again. Lucky I am home. Or else I would've gone insane. Phew~

Can I just wake up in somebody else's shoes tomorrow? Can I wake up being able to do whatever I want? Can I just take days and days off and have a vacation, away from this wasted land? 

Lo and behold! So the truth be told.

Money is just isn't everything.

It never is..

P/S: Surgeons are akin to peacock's arrogant breed. Period.